|Langston's room as of today.|
In about a month and a half, Kristen and I are going to have our first baby: Langston James Snyder. I can still clearly remember the day that we decided that we should have a baby. I remember the day that we found out that she was pregnant. And, I remember every day since then. It’s been slow, and it’s been fast at the same time.
In many ways, I think being a father during pregnancy is so much different than being a mother. A mother’s job is to take care of the baby, sacrifice her body and everything in her world- her job, reputation…everything. A mother loses herself completely because the job of carrying and creating another person is so tough and demanding and grueling. A good mother gives everything that she has for the baby. That’s what Kristen does every day.
A father’s job, on the other hand, is to make sure that his wife stays grounded and happy and feeling wanted. It’s a difficult task because women naturally feel lost during pregnancy, especially when they’re having their first child. During pregnancy, a father has to be a little more focused on his wife than the baby because realistically, there isn’t much the father can do. He’s a cheerleader, a bench player, a guy on the sidelines. I think a lot of men get lost in this role because it is difficult to stay on track.
|Langston's I'm a Monkey Cup. If he is anything |
like me, he WILL be a monkey.
But, it is a very, very important job nonetheless. If a man doesn’t keep his wife happy and their relationship intimate, he can lose her forever. She’ll be assigned strictly to a role as a mother and will no longer be a lover, a friend, or anything that a healthy relationship is based on. No woman wants that.
In today’s world, people always want to make EVERYTHING about the child, but there are some things that need to be kept in perspective, especially a relationship. After all, there is no greater gift for a child than having happy parents. I don’t think people should ever sacrifice parts of a marriage; I think they need to incorporate their children into it.
|Langston's I'm a Lion Cup. My |
good friend Ronnie always called me young lion.
Now, there's a new kid on the block.
So, that’s what Kristen and I have been working on. She shields the child, and I shield her. It’s a team effort, and all three of us are in it with different roles. We all love each other equally, but naturally, it’s in slightly different ways. Ways that nobody outside of the family could even realize or understand.
I love Langston more and more every day, and I haven’t even met him. I don’t know his personality (except for a few small things that my wife tells me about), and I don’t know his likes and dislikes. Not yet, anyway. But deep inside of me, I have these feelings and these instincts about what he’s going to be like. I feel like he is going to be a strong baby, a guy that doesn’t take shit and is comfortable with himself. I feel like he is going to be polite and mannerly. I think that the girls are going to love him. I think that he is going to be talented: an athlete, a scholar, a musician, social. I have no idea if any of these things are true or real, but I feel them and I want them for him.
|I can't wait for me and Langston to shoot|
some b-ball together. Maybe, Grandpa can
show him a few tricks on how to play physical.
I think a lot of men have fears about being a father, but I don’t. I’m very confident. I think this is because I had a great father. He was a guy that was always there for me and took care of everything. He taught me to play basketball, and he supported everything that I ever set out to do. Because of that, I’ve accomplished it all. Today, we’re like best friends. We can talk about everything and do anything together. We have respect for each other as people. This is what I want for me and Langston, and I’m sure that is what we will have. I love you buddy, and I can’t wait for you to get here.